Well every now and then I have a bad day, well who doesn’t. Sometimes I come home from work extremly stressed because of a parents comment about the work I do or just one of my students being completely rude. One of the things I love to do when I feel down is to exercise, and I hate to exercise. Exerczing gets your endorphins pumping as well as your blood, so it releases good toxins in your body to help you feel better about yourself. Usually after I finish working out I feel so much better. Another thing I like to do is to write down everything that is bothering me on a piece of paper, it can be 5 pages long sometimes. after I am finished I usually re-read what I just wrote and throw it away. Sometimes I will have someone read it and give me feed back.

Some nights I will come home in a bad mood and take it out on Rob. which i know I shouldn’t do but sometimes it happens when I feel like i don’t want to talk to him because I am in a bad mood i either shop (which sometimes is a bad thing) or i pour my self a glass of wine and take a nice bubble bath in my jacuzzi tub. this really helps me to unwind and forget my stress from the day and think about how lucky i am to be who I am.

So now a days many females refer to the “glass ceilings” in their life. But what really does the term mean? A feminist site describes that  “The glass ceiling is a metaphor for the idea that women as a group are prevented by sexism and other gender-related factors from rising to the upper echelons of politics, science, business, you name it. It is not something that can be busted by the achievements of one single woman.” (http://www.feministing.com/archives/011125.html). When I looked at another site it referred the term to economics. “In economics, the term glass ceiling refers to situations where the advancement of a qualified person within the hierarchy of an organization is stopped at a lower level because of some form of discrimination, most commonly sexism or racism, but since the term was coined, “glass ceiling” has also come to describe the limited advancement of the deaf, blind, disabled, aged and sexual minorities.^[1]It is an unofficial, invisible barrier that prevents women and minorities from advancing in businesses.”  To me a glass ceiling doesn’t just need to be something that I can not do because I am a female but because I am afraid to do it…

I usually do not face my fears or make known what I am afraid of not achieving. I think that everyone is afraid of something even if they do not admit to it. I am most afraid of failing, whether it be at my job or with friends. It is the scariest thing for me to think about or come to terms with. And because I am so afraid to fail at these two things there are times when I do not interact accordingly because it is better to not do something then to do it and fail. (So I tend to think). My Fiancé is always encouraging me to go and talk to new people, I just get so nervous that I am not going to have anything in common with them or that they will reject me so I tend to not even attempt to meet new people. When I do meet new people though and after I reach that comfort level I can do almost anything, I am no longer afraid of what they are going to think of me. I am not so sure as to why I think that they will reject me but it is a fear that I am trying my hardest to overcome. When I meet with people for an interview of any sort I tend to get so consumed with nerves that I can’t think of what to say. I feel like I don’t know anything, even though I do know a lot! I mean c’mon I have my master’s degree and am in the pursuit to going to get my doctorate, so I know that I know stuff!!! I just get too wrapped up in wondering what is next and I fumble for words and then I know that I look bad. The weird thing is even though I am afraid to talk one on one with people if I have a speech prepared or if it is my students I have no problem talking… I know I just need a little more confidence because I am sure no one is truly judging me in that way, but it is the same reason why rob has a fear of heights… I mean nothing is going to happen to you when you are up high because usually you are secure but in your head you think it is bad.

I truly hope that before I turn 60 I can become a superintendent for schools. I do plan to get my doctorate in administrative education; I plan to become a principal first then a Superintendent. I know that in order to achieve this goal I need to feel more confident when talking/interviewing because I will not be asked to come back if I can not communicate my true thoughts or feelings at an interview because I am super nervous.

Hmmmm. Well I do have a few glass ceilings but I don’t think they are gender related like some sites suggest, but rather me related. Sometimes you are your biggest enemy/problem to overcome. Overtime and with help I know I can become Superintendent some day, I hope it will be sooner than later.

Oh yeah so there are so many little cartoons that kinda mock women and their glass ceilings so here is one of em… if you google it a whole bunch will show up.

With all that being said I scoured the Internet for help on the “to-do’s” of wedding planning. My favorite site that I utilize all the time is www.theknot.com. This website has so many great tools for the bride to be. I ordered my favors from this website, set up a countdown for my wedding, read about what the bridal party should be doing and when, looked at dress options for myself and my bridal party, looked at hair up dos, looked at flower options, signature drinks to offer. The site just has so much to offer a bride to be. I love the countdown colander because it actually tells me what days I should have certain tasks completed by. I thought this was fantastic because I have no idea the etiquette of weddings because I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED!!!! So I shouldn’t have a clue as to what I am doing.

Throughout my search for DIY wedding planning I did find several other sites that seem to be extremely helpful also. I have been using www.Maweddingguide.com to also help me prepare. This site is great because I live in Massachusetts and it gives all sorts of planning tips for each season that you are going to plan your wedding in the area. It also gives you local vendors to choose as well as the wedding planning to do checklist on a day-to-day basis. They also have e-mails that inform you of new creative wedding ideas and party ideas. www.wedplan.com has some useful worksheets if you like to have hard copies of everything. I like to do all of my planning online so this site was not for me.

There are also several sites that talk to you (videos) and help you with your planning so it is almost like you are with someone. This video http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/5041779 is a great video on the introduction of wedding planning. The makers of this video write that they have a whole series of wedding planning videos that can be watched for free online. This is great once again so it makes you feel as though you are working with someone knowledgeable if  you do not want to pay for someone to do this.

I also have one of those Martha Stewart wedding planning books. My mom bought this for me when she found out I was engaged because someone she knew said that she could not have done her planning without this book. I am indifferent on the book. It is nice because it has a folder for each topic of the wedding, so you can store paperwork and whatnot. It is a big read though. Even though everything is in order by topic it still is not my favorite wedding planning tool, I do like the fact that if my internet is not working I can use this book, but most of the information in the book  (which cost over $40) I had already found on the internet for free